I recently realized that I was thinking my way into depression.

I had started focusing so much on everything that was going wrong in my life that I was becoming increasingly frustrated, irritated, and overwhelmed. And it wasn’t just one bad day. It was happening day after day.

Some days I could ignore it. I would tell myself I was just being too negative and needed to stop letting the little things bother me. After all, in the grand scheme of things, most of these issues really weren’t that big of a deal.

But other days, I would look around my house and feel completely overwhelmed.

The house was a mess. The dogs were making more messes. My kid was making more messes. Things weren’t getting done, and I felt like I didn’t have the help I needed.

I was frustrated that things weren’t the way I wanted them to be.

And unfortunately, I kept focusing on everything that was wrong instead of being grateful for everything that was right.

I Had Lost My Gratitude

I generally consider myself a pretty positive person. I’m patient, kind, easygoing, and usually able to look at challenges with a fairly optimistic attitude.

But more recently, I wasn’t doing that.

I was looking at all the challenges ahead of me and everything I still hadn’t accomplished.

The goals I hadn’t achieved.

The things I didn’t have.

The life I was still trying to build.

And all those little everyday frustrations that just kept adding up.

Somewhere along the way, I had lost my gratitude.

I wasn’t allowing myself to be present in the moment and appreciate what I already had. I wasn’t content with where I was in life because I was so focused on where I thought I should be.

And the more I thought about everything that wasn’t going right, the worse I felt.

I think it’s easy to underestimate how much our own thoughts can affect how we feel.

Learning About Mental Strength Made Me Look at Myself Differently

Recently, I’ve become really interested in learning more about mental strength and how people think, feel, and act.

I’m especially interested in the cognitive, emotional, and behavioral aspects of how we respond to challenges.

I’ve always believed that we are capable of changing our mindset and our behavior. Sometimes we just need to learn the tools and strategies that allow us to think differently, manage our emotions, and make better decisions.

But here’s the interesting part.

I was spending all this time learning about mental strength, and I hadn’t fully recognized what was happening with my own thinking.

I was allowing myself to focus on problems, many of which were relatively minor, and those thoughts were fueling my frustration.

The more I focused on what wasn’t getting done, the more irritated I became.

The more I thought about what I hadn’t accomplished, the more disappointed I felt.

And the more overwhelmed I felt, the harder it became to appreciate anything positive.

I had created a pattern of thinking that was making me miserable.

I don’t believe we should ignore our problems or pretend everything is wonderful when it isn’t. Sometimes things really do need to change.

But I am learning that there is a difference between recognizing a problem and allowing that problem to consume your thoughts.

And I had been allowing far too many little things to consume mine.

I Was Also Missing Human Connection

Another thing I’ve recently realized is just how much I need meaningful human connection.

Over the last several months, I’ve been working on starting my own business, continuing my education, completing coaching certifications, and figuring out what this next chapter of my life is going to look like.

I’ve been connecting with people online, participating in virtual discussions, and interacting with other students and professionals.

But that isn’t quite the same as having meaningful, personal relationships with people you can sit down with, talk to, and share life with.

I was missing that.

I was missing conversations that went beyond everyday small talk. I wanted to connect with people as a woman, a wife, a mom, a student, and someone who is still figuring out her own life.

And I wanted opportunities to support other people too.

I genuinely enjoy listening to people, learning about their experiences, and helping them think through whatever challenges they’re facing.

It’s a big part of why I became a Life Coach in the first place.

I want to be someone people can talk to. Someone who will listen, ask questions, offer encouragement, and help them see possibilities they might not have considered.

But I was realizing that I needed some of that connection in my own life too.

Finding My Way Back to Church

While attending church with my parents, I started thinking about how much I had been missing this kind of community.

Church felt like a place where I could connect with others on a deeper level.

A place where I could talk about life, relationships, marriage, parenting, struggles, and faith.

A place where I could develop friendships, learn from others, and find opportunities to serve.

And perhaps most importantly, a place where I could continue developing my relationship with God.

I’ve recently been reconnecting with Christianity and learning what it means to become a more devoted Christian.

I’m still learning. I have questions. I have a lot of growing to do.

But one of the biggest things I’m beginning to understand is that I don’t have to carry every burden by myself.

For so long, I have tried to figure everything out.

I want to have a plan. I want to know what comes next. I want to accomplish my goals. I want things to work out the way I envision them.

And when they don’t, I get frustrated.

But what if I stopped trying to control everything?

What if I did the best I could, made thoughtful decisions, worked toward my goals, and trusted God with the things I couldn’t control?

What if I spent less time being frustrated about what I didn’t have and more time being grateful for what God has already provided?

I’m learning that putting my faith in God doesn’t mean life will suddenly become easy or that all my problems will disappear.

It means I don’t have to face those problems believing that everything depends entirely on me.

And that realization has brought me a lot of relief.

Learning to Respond With Love Instead of Frustration

One of the things I’m working on is recognizing when I’m allowing impatience, anger, frustration, or self-pity to influence how I think and behave.

I don’t want to spend my days being irritated about a messy house, disappointed about goals I haven’t achieved, or frustrated because life isn’t moving according to my timeline.

That’s not how I want to live.

And it’s certainly not how I want to treat the people around me.

I’m learning to ask myself whether my thoughts and actions are reflecting the Christian values I want to live by.

Am I being patient?

Am I showing kindness?

Am I acting out of love?

Am I being grateful?

Am I trusting God, or am I trying to control everything myself?

I’m not always going to get it right.

I’m still going to feel frustrated. I’m still going to have difficult days. I’m still going to want things to happen faster than they do.

Those are human emotions, and I don’t think we should feel ashamed of having them.

But I do believe we can learn to respond to those emotions differently.

We can recognize when our thoughts are taking us somewhere we don’t want to go.

We can practice gratitude.

We can ask for support.

We can strengthen our relationships.

We can pray.

And we can choose to act with love, even when we’re frustrated.

Bringing My Faith and Coaching Together

All of this has also made me think more about the direction I want to take with HyperStriver.

I’ve always wanted to support people through life’s challenges. That’s why I became a Life Coach and why I’m pursuing my PhD in Business Psychology.

I’m fascinated by the way people think, feel, and behave, and I believe we can develop the skills to become more mentally strong, confident, and intentional in how we live.

Now I’m beginning to see how my growing Christian faith can become part of that journey too.

I want to continue learning how to combine practical coaching tools, an understanding of human behavior, meaningful relationships, and faith.

I want to support people who feel overwhelmed, frustrated, uncertain, disconnected, or simply stuck in a place they don’t want to be.

Sometimes we need someone who will listen.

Sometimes we need someone to ask us questions that make us think differently.

Sometimes we need to recognize that our own thoughts and behaviors are contributing to how we’re feeling.

And sometimes we need to remember that we don’t have to figure everything out alone.

I certainly needed that reminder.

I’m still working on my own mindset, my gratitude, my relationships, and my faith.

But I’m starting to recognize that I have much more control over how I respond to life’s challenges than I sometimes give myself credit for.

And for the things I can’t control, I’m learning to put my trust in God.

Let’s Talk

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, stuck, or uncertain about what comes next in your life, I would love to talk with you.

Maybe you’re struggling to reach your goals. Maybe you’re having difficulty finding contentment in your current circumstances. Or maybe you just need someone to talk to who can help you reflect on what you’re thinking, feeling, and experiencing.

I offer a free 30-minute consultation where we can get to know each other, talk about what you’re going through, and explore whether life coaching might be a good fit.

For those who want to incorporate Christian faith into their personal growth, I’d also welcome the opportunity to explore how your values, relationship with God, and personal goals can work together. And if faith isn’t part of your journey, you’re still welcome.

I’m learning and growing right alongside everyone else.

And I would love the opportunity to support you on your journey too.